So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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