Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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