apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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