$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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