Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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