whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
