omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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