If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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