Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
