god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
