i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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