I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize