She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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