Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
