I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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