We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
