yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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