Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
