Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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