I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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