one two three fourrrrnication!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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