Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
