i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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