trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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