Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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