she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
