I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
