Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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