we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
