found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
