the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
