You smell like stripper and shame
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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