I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
