I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
