apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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