Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize