how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
