If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
