Is it normal to miss your booty call?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
