peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Michael Bay diarrhea
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
