it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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