I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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