:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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