The maid of honor just puked.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm both gender and math confused
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
