Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
