i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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