we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
