Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
