Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
organizing the empties. That sober.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
