Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize