She announced her abortion via fbk
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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