i just had sex bonerless
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
