No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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