I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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