Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
