Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
