covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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