Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
