The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
