think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
