So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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