i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think I am morally bankrupt
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
