i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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