It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
