They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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