We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
