what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize