she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
